Co-dependency

What influences the fact that so many relationships in the Western world are codependent? 

One of the factors is undoubtedly the invisible influence of Hegelian dialectics. Even if you don't know what that is, you may still find yourself clashing with your partner because of it. One person's thesis triggers the other's antithesis, leading to a period of tension, which can either result in synthesis (overcoming the contradiction on a higher level) or, as younger couples tell me, a pause—a modern term that often means all or nothing.

In couples therapy, we learn how to transition from relationships that drive us crazy to those that are healthy and healing for the nervous system. Such relationships are not codependent but co-creative. To establish them, partners do not overpower each other but instead get to know one another on a deeper level. We learn how to argue in a healthy way—by recognizing dysfunctional patterns and gradually replacing them with healthy ones.

 

Practice makes perfect. And a master, whether male or female, learns complementarity within themselves, which leads to natural mutual attraction.